


Beyond Halloween

by Merely_Specters



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst without a happy ending, Bangel - Freeform, Character Study, Episode: s02e06 Halloween, Ficlet, Gen, Headcanon, Introspection, Light Angst, One Shot, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24312589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merely_Specters/pseuds/Merely_Specters
Summary: Angel can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had dressed up on Halloween.
Relationships: referenced Angel/Buffy Summers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Beyond Halloween

Angel sat on the side of Buffy’s bed.

If he were as young as Buffy, he might have swung his legs (but he hadn’t been that young in a long, long time). Buffy was in the other room doing something or another, so Angel looked around Buffy’s room to pass the time. It was brimming with life and wonder, different than the apartment Angel occupied.

Angel’s eyes landed on Buffy’s costume. The cheap pink fabric glistened in the artificial lamplight.

And Angel wondered.

_What if I had dressed up this Halloween?_

It was a silly thought, fleeting, but somehow, it caught in the dreamcatcher of his mind.

Angel was no stranger to pretending on Halloween. Before Buffy, there had been a time when Angel wandered amongst humans Halloween night. Children ran about by his knees; parents herded toddlers toward houses while high schoolers loitered by parties. Angel weaved in and out of the crowds, able to pass for a college student or a parent when it suited him. He snuck into fraternities and house parties, ducking out before anyone could recognize him.

Around midnight, the festivities tended to die down. The parents were already long gone, but now drunken stragglers walked home. Angel would help them, guiding the especially inebriated women away from men prowling in pickup trucks.

And once everyone got home, Angel walked alone.

 _But if I dressed up, if I had become_ —

Angel shut down the thought.

Three a.m. was the kicker. Humans with homes slept quietly in bed; three a.m. when the streets swarmed with vampires. Angel stayed away from the jeering gangs. They flaunted their bloodlust, taunting him with their guilt-free conscience.

By 6:30, most vampires retreated into the sewers, some with stomachs full with the blood of homeless men and women. The vampires could all sense the sun’s coming. But Angel stayed out, savoring the lightening of the sky. The mailman began making his rounds at this hour. Angel watched him. Angel also watched the children biking to school, the morning joggers, life in its vitality. But soon enough, like all the other vile creatures, he fell back just as the sun broke through the clouds.

The sun came up 7:12. Angel counted. After witnessing humanity, Angel’s sparsely decorated apartment never felt more like a tomb.

_What if I had dressed up as human?_

It wasn’t feasible. It wasn’t reasonable. Angel never would have done it, and even if he did, what store sells “human” as a costume? Certainly not _Ethan’s_.

_But maybe a fireman’s suit would have done it. Maybe putting on a military uniform would have been enough. I could have felt my heart beat. Then what, though? Leave Buffy defenseless? I could have gotten killed, and she would join me._

Angel tore his eyes away from the dress.

 _But_.

There was always a _but_. A seed of doubt.

 _I could have been human_.

When Buffy came out of the other room, Angel smiled and banished that doubt to the back of his mind. It would remain there, but hopefully soon it would be forgotten.

Unfortunately, it lingered.


End file.
